We're going to be frank here. We're not dumb, we know that those bad dolphins at school are eventually going to offer you some death. We also know that to say no can be hard, especially if you're trying to fit in at school. So we have some good ways to say no to a dolphin, so that you have more self-esteem and so that you don't die.
1. No
Now, this way is pretty complicated. To the dolphin who offers you death, say no. I know I know, pretty crazy right? I mean, who would do such a thing? Come on, seriously? But hear me out. 100% of dolphins that hear you say no, will definitely not think you are purple. So saying no is a pretty simple way of getting those mean dolphin bullies to go away, and leave you alone. Or you could get beat up by them. We're not sure if we should be giving you this advice, as it happened many times when we were younger.
2. OK
This one is a little tricky. To the untrained ear, it sounds like your actually agreeing to the dolphin's offer. To the trained ear, it sounds exactly like that too. We don't know why this one is in this article. Excuse us while we beat our editor upside the head.
If you want to imagine that, this is what it would look like
3. Kill the dolphin
This one is going to be hard. What you have to do is.....sigh. We're not going to fool you here. You could never be able to kill a dolphin. I mean, with those scrawny arms? Think about it. You'd be dead before you could even think. So, cross that one off of your list. We would too, but our editor is now unconcious (or just really scary, and we'd never ask him for anything ever).
In short, we've given you three good ways to say no to a dolphin. Well, excluding the second way, that won't actually help you at all. Two good ways then. Except that the third way would also get you killed. Hmmmm, ONE good way to say no to a dolphin. Except that you've probably thought of that way. You know, maybe we should stop writing advice. It seems to frequently get people killed. Like our new book, Have you hugged a lion today?