1. Don't talk to strange dolphins, And never follow them into a strange ocean. 2. Never take their candy. It tastes awful, and will probably rot your teeth. 3. Pretend you're a shark. 4. Hide yourself away in a glass box for a couple years, then when you come out, you can do all of the things that you wanted to do, like write bad words on seats, and use the world as your bathroom. This can go on for a couple months until a dolphin spies you and eats you for breakfast. 5. Don't die. Now I know that's impossible. Everyone will get roasted and eaten by the Giant Earth Dolphins (or G.E.D.), but what i'm saying is don't be stupid. As a member of the human species, I know that's hard. Our minds just want to say something so utterly insane we are shamed for life. But you have to fight this temptation. Especially in a couple of days. Dolphins smell stupidity.
You reek of it
6. Remember to throw your friends and family at the dolphins to give you a couple extra seconds. If you have small children with you, even better. Not only will it free you up some time to get to your secret underground bunker, but it will also stop that annoying crying.