As you know, Dolphins are gathering under the earth. Then they will come out and destroy us all. Don't worry. This is natural and happens to everyone. Although you may be embarassed for a second while they are ripping off your limbs, most people won't talk about it because it has happened to them or will happen.
He's laughing at you. Photo via Photobucket.com
Why are they trying to destroy us you ask? For centuries their water counterparts have been thought of as cute and cuddly. Being forced to do strenuous labor at places like SeaWorld, they have kept their humor threiough it all, biding their time until their stronger dolphin brothers can beat us up.
One thing that you have to remember through these dark times is that we probably deserve it. Yeah, try to explain that to a screaming child who is watching your legs slowly being torn off.
Not only do we deserve it, but we probably needed a wake up call that said we weren't the best on the planet. Even if that wake up call only lasts a couple seconds as the blood runs out of your mangled body, it's nice to know we don't have to wait for aliens to find intelligent life.